Who is the typical online dater?

The way we conduct our romantic relationships is changing, and it’s clear that digital technologies have a key part to play in this change. Online dating popularity has been constantly growing during the past years.

In August 2017 Kaspersky Lab has undertaken a study into people’s online dating habits and identified a portrait of a typical online dater. The research assessed the attitudes of 21,081 Internet users aged over 16 years old from 32 countries and found that as many as 32% of them are dating online.

According to the results of the study, people that date online are most likely to be:

  • 33.8 years old on average
  • Working full-time (63%)
  • Slightly more likely to be male than female (39% of men date online vs 25% of women)
  • Device-savvy – they have around 5 mobile devices compared to the usual 3 per household
  • They are most likely to work as medium-level managers (20%) or be highly qualified specialists such as scientific workers, teachers and engineers (19%)

Many people that are on the online dating scene are young, as the 33.8 average age suggests, with 43% of 25-34 year olds using online dating services. Meanwhile, people that class themselves as the head of a company or business owners make up a surprisingly large one-in-ten (11%) of the online dating population. Interestingly, we also found that 31% of people that are married or living with a partner are using online dating.

So why are these people going online to start up relationships with others? Certainly, online dating provides all the convenience of making it quick and easy to meet people. Plus, it’s an activity that’s available across multiple devices, at all times of day and night.

Kaspersky Lab asked people why they turn to online dating and while half (48%) said they mostly use online dating for fun, other reasons were also evident, with some saying they are looking for more meaningful relationships, and around one-in-ten simply looking for sex (13%).170920-online-dating-report-1-e1505916102492
Source: Kaspersky

How to write a great first message

40045870402_f227993815_cThere are two things that make a good first message: finding common ground with a girl, then starting a conversation about it.

The key – and the best way to start a conversation – is to ask a question.

Girls love when you ask them questions.  It’s flattering that you care what they think, and they like talking about themselves.

But it can also be more complicated than that.  Online dating is a little like gaming. Writing a message and getting a girl to reply is the final battle with the boss.  In order to win, you’ll need all the knowledge, strength, and skill you’ve acquired so far.

Here’s how to level up with your first message:

1. Focus on quality, not quantity.  Unfortunately, many guys try to message a bunch of girls, instead of just the ones who are the best matches.  They don’t take time to write good messages. They’d rather write a lot of messages – and take any response they can get, whether or not the girl is a good fit for him. Girls see through this.  They get so many of those lazy mass-messages that they just ignore them.

If you spend a little more time messaging girls who are a good match for you, you’ll probably find it’s much more productive.  Look for girls with common interests, shared beliefs, and similar goals. Those girls are much more likely to respond to you because you are a good fit.

And a girl like that will appreciate that you took the time to read her profile, notice what you have in common, and ask her questions about those things, creating a solid connection.

2. Compliment common interests and personality – not looks. Girls are tired of getting messages from guys who compliment our looks, but have nothing to say about the rest of our profiles. Those messages are shallow and meaningless.

You’re not one of those guys, and you have to show that.  The best first messages show girls that you’re interested in who they are – not what they look like.

3. Start a conversation. So many guys don’t know HOW to do this!  They ask really general questions, like, “How’s your weekend going?” or “What’s up?” These messages are the worst. While “How are you?” is a question, it doesn’t actually start a conversation.  A girl can reply, “Good. How are you?” but then we’re back where we started. Pointless.  

If you read a girl’s profile and can’t think of a question to ask her based on the information there, don’t message her at all.

A great first message jumps past pointless questions and right into specific questions.  The best questions you can ask have “long-game.” That’s why it works so well to ask a girl about something you have in common.  When you bring up a topic you both like, you’ll both have lots to say about it, which paves the way for a longer conversation.

For example: say you and a girl are both snowboarders.  You could easily lead by asking her the question: “Where’s your favorite spot to snowboard around here?”  After she answers that, you’re probably also interested in asking how long she’s been snowboarding, what gear she likes, and if she has any upcoming trips planned.

Because you opened with a topic she’s interested in, too, she’ll probably ask you those questions back – plus more of her own. That’s a lot to talk about, and that’s long-game. To achieve this, you have to ask her questions.  The questions are the gas. Making a statement, like, “I like snowboarding, too,” doesn’t move the conversation forward.

4. Keep it simple.  As a rule of thumb, ask one or two questions.  Some guys make the mistake of firing off a long list of questions about a whole range of topics.  This is overwhelming to girls. And it’s time-consuming to answer ten questions!

Stick with one or two low-pressure questions that make it easy for us to respond quickly because we’re interested.  Online dating is awesome because a girl’s profile is one big list of conversation topics. Just pick one detail you think is cool, or you’re genuinely curious about, and ask her about it.   

Extra tip: Don’t answer your own questions.  When you ask the question and don’t including your own answer, then my next logical step will be to ask you the same question back.

5. Keep it short. Your first message should make a simple introduction, express your interest in her profile, ask one or two long-game questions about things you share in common, and then simply sign-off with your name.  A couple lines, or a paragraph or two is great. When guys write a lot more, they come on too strong.  

Leave girls wanting more.  With your first message, your goal is to make girls want to continue talking to you.  When we see you’re the kind of guy who makes an effort in a first message, but knows not to go overboard, we’ll be impressed.

Effort + confidence = a guy worth knowing.

6. Re-read what you wrote.  Look for spelling and grammatical errors.  It’ll only take a minute, and you’ll probably notice at least one typo that can be corrected.

And send.
Source: Menaskem

15 things not to do in Russia

woman-hand-leave-wall-glass-refrain-from-no-not(1)Whenever you’re traveling to a new destination, it’s important to research local customs before you go. Russia is no exception, especially because the local people tend to be very superstitious and you wouldn’t want to do anything that signifies bad luck. Here are 15 things NOT to do in Russia, the most important – don’t refuse vodka!

1. Don’t shake hands with your gloves on unless you want to insult the person you’re meeting

It is considered extremely impolite to leave your gloves on while greeting someone with a handshake. So make sure you remove your gloves before any interaction occurs. Also, never shake hands over a threshold as Russians see this as bad luck. They’ll expect an argument to be the outcome of your conversation if you shake hands in a doorway.

2. Don’t take the “last shirt” unless you’re really, truly in need

Russians have a funny phrase which translates roughly in English to “Do not take back the last t-shirt.” It simply means never be the one to take the last, and always give back. Therefore, Russians tend to be very generous even if they don’t have much to give. So never accept a gift unless you truly want it. You may be required to refuse it several times.

3. Whatever you do, never, ever tell a joke about a Russian person’s mama

Many jokes you’ll hear in Russia will not be considered politically correct as gender, race, religion and politics-based laughs are not off limits. However, never make fun of someone else’s family member as this is seen as very disrespectful and insulting.

4. Don’t disrespect the elderly unless you want to invoke the wrath of several much younger, much stronger people

Like with many countries, respecting the elderly is an important part of the family culture. Giving up your seat on a bus or a train for an elderly person or pregnant woman is a sign of respect. In certain countries, some may be offended by this privilege, but in Russia it is expected to offer your seat to someone in need.

5. If you invite someone out to eat, don’t expect them to pick up their half of the tab

When dining out, the host is expected to pay the entire bill, as going “Dutch” is considered rude. Also, the tradition of a man covering all expenses when with a female companion is definitely still upheld in Russia.

6. Don’t ever give a gift of an empty wallet … That’s actually just a good life rule

Russians believe that giving a gift of an empty wallet or purse is bad luck. They see it as wishing financial hardship or poverty on the receiver of the gift. So, make sure you put a little something special inside if you’re giving a lover or friend a new money holder.

7. Don’t expect a lady to carry her bags, which is another good life rule while we’re at it

In Russia, distinct gender roles still exist. Men are expected to act chivalrously – offering a hand to woman getting off of a bus, opening car doors, assisting with heavy lifting. But it has nothing to do with a lack of feminism in the country. Their women are strong, but most Russian men just believe that lending a hand is a simple act of politeness.

8. The Russians reserve happiness for important things, so don’t smile without a reason

Russians reserve smiling for their friends and family members. So don’t randomly smile at strangers while you’re riding on public transportation or shopping in Moscow. Russians have a saying, “To smile with no reason, is a sign of a fool.”

9. Don’t show up empty handed

If you’re invited over to someone’s house for a dinner or a visit, it is considered very rude to show up empty handed. Bring a small gift – a bottle of wine, flowers, dessert or small toy for the children. Russians take pride in preparing elaborate meals for their guests and showing up without a small token of appreciation is a sign that you don’t care.

10. Get comfortable, grab a drink, and don’t leave your shoes on

Whenever entering a Russian home it is proper custom to remove your shoes. Many homes are decorated with expensive Persian rugs that are difficult to clean. Some hosts may offer tapochki (slippers) for you to put on. At nice parties, some women may bring an extra pair of heels or shoes for inside use.

11. Don’t sit at the corner of the table unless you want to live an existence doomed to utter loneliness

This is another Russian superstition. It is advised that you never sit at the corner of the dining table, especially if you’re a young woman. It is said that “the one who chooses a seat at the corner of a table is destined to never be married or find their lover.”

12. Don’t whistle indoors unless you want to invite disaster into your life

Like many Asian cultures, whistling indoors in Russia is considered bad luck. Russians are very superstitious and believe that whistling inside may cause financial ruin, poverty, or another invasion of cockroaches.

13. Get ready to cowboy up when you enter a home; don’t refuse a shot

It is true that many Russians can drink, but not all Russians are heavy drinkers. Most keep one bottle of vodka in their homes at all times for celebrations and random visitors. If you’re offered a shot of vodka don’t refuse it, because sharing a drink is considered a sign of hospitality. Russians don’t see one shot as a big deal, so to them a refusal comes off as untrusting or turning down friendship.

14. Don’t keep empty bottles on the table

If you’re drinking in a Russian home, leaving an empty liquor bottle on the table is considered to be bad luck. Once the bottle has been drunk, it is best to put it on the floor or throw it out before the next bottle is served. It’s also recommended that you keep your change and keys off the table as well. These are all bad omens of financial loss and tears.

15. This isn’t Denny’s on a Sunday morning, so don’t slack in the style department

Russians dress very well. Men and women alike love to dress up even for informal occasions like grocery shopping or going to the bank. You’ll hardly ever see a Russian woman on the street without a full set of makeup and sky-high heels. So, the next time you’re in Russia, up your style standards.

Source: Destinationtips

International Women’s Day in Russia

petal-bloomed-blooming-flowerInternational Women’s Day in Russia honors women’s achievements on March 8 each year.

What do people do?

International Women’s Day is often celebrated among family or friends with a festive meal and drinks. Many women receive flowers, cards and other gifts on March 8. Many television programs pay tribute to achievements of famous Russian women from the past and the present.

Public life

International Women’s Day is a public holiday in Russia on March 8. Most banks, official buildings and educational institutions are closed on this day, although shops and kiosks usually stay open. Public transport may run less frequently than usual.

Background

Russian women first observed International Women’s Day on March 2, 1913. They held a demonstration in Saint-Petersburg, which was then Russia’s capital, demanding the right to vote. On March 8, 1917 (February 23, 1917 of the then used Julian calendar), women organized another mass demonstration. Many historians believe this became the start of the Russian Revolution. The Russian Emperor Nicholas II stepped down from the throne four days after the demonstration, and the provisional government granted Russian women the right to vote.

International Women’s Day has been a national holiday in Russia since 1918. It became a non-labor day in 1965. International Women’s Day remained a public holiday in the Russia after the collapse of the former Soviet Union. Today it is a holiday to honor motherhood, beauty, and spring. International Women’s Day is also celebrated in other countries around the world.

Symbols

Spring flowers, especially tulips and lilies of the valley, and images of a mother with a child are the most common symbols of International Women’s Day in Russia. These symbols often appear on postcards that men traditionally give women on March 8.

International Women’s Day vocabulary

С 8 Марта – Happy March 8th

Поздравляю с 8 Марта - Wishing you a Happy March 8th

Поздравляю с Международным Женским Днём! – Wishing you a happy International Women’s Day!

Source: Time and Date

Defender of the Fatherland Day in Russia

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Defender of the Fatherland Day is a Russian holiday on February 23 and focuses on the achievements of military forces and veterans.

What do people do?

Many Russians observe February 23 as men’s day because military service is obligatory for most men in Russia. Women often give presents and postcards to their male relatives, including those who never served in the military. On a workday before or after the holiday, many women also congratulate their male colleagues and schoolboys may receive small presents from their female classmates.

Russian authorities may organize local parades to honor the military and veterans on this day. It is becoming more common for women who serve in the military to be honored on this day, and this challenges the traditionally masculine aspect of the holiday.

Public life

Defender of the Fatherland Day, which is on February 23, is a public holiday throughout the Russian Federation. Most schools, banks and official buildings are closed on this day. Public transport services may vary in cities that hold a parade.

Background

The reasons behind celebrating Defender of the Fatherland Day on February 23 are unclear, as the date does not coincide with any historical event. Russia first celebrated this day in 1922 as the fourth anniversary of the Red Army. However, Russian leader Vladimir Lenin signed a decree for the creation of a Bolshevik Army on a different date (January 15, 1918). In 1938, Soviet history books started claiming that the Red Army won an important victory over German invaders on February 23, 1918, but no independent sources supported this claim. The Russian Parliament voted to remove it from the holiday’s history in 2006.

Between 1936 and 1990, February 23 was observed as the Soviet Army and Navy Day. It became a workday in 1991. The Russian parliament reintroduced it as a public holiday in 2002, after renaming it as Defender of the Fatherland Day.

Symbols

Common symbols of Defender of the Fatherland Day are a soldier and the Russian flag. These symbols often appear on postcards and congratulatory banners in Russian cities on this day.

Source: Time and Date

Valentine’s day in Russia

love-heart-valentines-valentines-day-redRussians celebrate Valentine’s Day with high spirit and vigor. People exchange greeting cards with love messages on this day of love. It is believed that greeting cards are the expressions of love. Russian youngsters use to write their own romantic lines on the cards to impress their valentine. Roses, chocolates, candies and cards are believed to be the most popular gifts for the romantic occasion. Russia is celebrating the Valentine’s Day with the same spirit with which they celebrate their traditional festivals.

The day of love is getting very popular in Russia in the last decades. Valentine’s Day is getting much commercialized in Russia, from the past decade. Some gift shops in Russia use to paint themselves with the festive look of Valentine’s Day long before the arrival of the real Valentine’s event. Gift basket is a common practice between lovers in Russia on Valentine’s Day. Russian Young men gifts flower bouquets, rings, perfumes, chocolate candies and gift baskets to their sweethearts. Nowadays, teenagers are very much fascinated by the popular media’s projection of Valentine’s gifts and they enjoy the day with new ideas such as photo story albums, musical CDs, DVDs, High-Fi mobile phones.

Russia being one of the most developed countries, urban people are very familiar with the electronic media and its possibilities. So people from different cities the valentine greetings with e-cards and gifts which available through online Valentine’s Day shopping sites. Valentine’s Day dinner and dance parties take place in Russian cities to celebrate the expression of love. Most of these parties are arranged by the youngsters who want to explore the spirit of their youth. Restaurant and pubs get prepared for the Valentine’s Day with finely tuned cocktails and live music. Russia celebrates the Valentine’s Day with true spirit of Valentine’s day but they never get into the insanity of celebration because most of Russian villages think of Valentine’s day as a foreign festival.

Source: Everything Valentines Day

Tips to make online dating more fun

2078861065_1f1ff4178c_bDating gets a bad rap sometimes. We get so worked up about the outcome, we forget to enjoy the experience. Here are 13 little ways to make online dating more fun.

1. Drop expectations

If you’re demanding that your date show up a certain way, you’ll miss the opportunity to enjoy what’s actually in front of you. Get clear on what your must-haves and deal-breakers are, but stay open to possibility.

2. Intend to have fun… no matter what

No more “The goal of this date is to find a husband/wife!” pressure. Keep it light. That’s where the flow gets flowing.

3. Be present

Projecting 20 years into the future within five minutes of a first date distracts you from the getting-to-know-you process. Slow it down and let things reveal themselves.

4. Become the kind of person you’d like to date

Is it possible you haven’t yet met the (likely insanely high) standards you hold for someone you want to date? Get good with yourself and you’ll start to attract perfect-for-you people into your life in dating and everywhere else.

5. See every date as an opportunity for some fun new conversation

Meeting new people is fun, right? At worst it’ll make for a good story.

6. Be an anthropologist

Take nothing personally. Observe with a curious “Hmm, isn’t this interesting” mindset.

7. View your online dates as great practice for when you do meet the person you really want to be with

Even if this person doesn’t turn out to be a fit for you, you’ll walk away with useful information moving forward.

8. Let things unfold

If it’s meant to move forward, it will. No need to force anything.

9. Ditch the hype

Be mindful about letting your hopes snowball before you’ve even met this person. Take it one step at a time.

10. Drop judgment.

They’re going to have quirks. You’ve got a few, too. Leave room for humanness—that’s where the good stuff is.

11. Focus on enjoying your life

The less energy you spend worrying about meeting the partner of your dreams, the more you’ll be able to enjoy them when they actually show up. Create some breathing room so she can enter your life.

12. Stop comparing your dates to your exes (or anyone else)

Give this human being a chance to reveal themselves.

13. Trust the process

Relax. No need to rush. Let things unfold. When it’s time (according to the universe, not your ego), the right relationship will come.

Try on a few of these practices and you’ll likely find yourself on a date with an amazing person who it might just turn out will make this whole dating thing worthwhile.

Source: Meetmindful

Christmas traditions in Russia

christmas-bokeh-lightsChristmas in Russia is most widely celebrated on January 7, according to the Russian Orthodox calendar. New Year’s Day, January 1, precedes the Russian Christmas and is often celebrated as a more important holiday. It is not uncommon for Russians to observe two Christmases and even two New Year’s—the first Christmas observed on December 25th, and the second New Year’s observed on January 14th. Any public trees, like the Christmas tree in Moscow’s Red Square, also serve as a symbol of the New Year.

Russian Christmas Religious Observances

During much of the 20th century as a Communist, atheist country, Christmas was not able to be publicly celebrated. Currently, many Russians continue to identify themselves as atheists, so the religious observance of Christmas had faded out of fashion. Increasingly, since the fall of Communism, Russians are returning to religion, primarily Russian Orthodoxy. The number of people celebrating Christmas as a religious holiday continues to grow.

Some Orthodox Christian Christmas traditions mimic those traditions in other parts of Eastern Europe. For example, a white tablecloth and hay remind Christmas Eve diners of Christ’s manger. As in Poland, a meatless meal may be prepared for Christmas Eve, which is eaten only after the appearance of the first star in the sky.

A Christmas church service, which happens the night of Christmas Eve, is attended by members of the Orthodox church.

Even the President of Russia has begun attending these solemn, beautiful services in Moscow.

Christmas Foods

The Christmas Eve meal is typically meatless and may be made up of twelve dishes to represent the twelve apostles. Lenten bread, dipped in honey and garlic, is shared by all members of the family gathering.       

Kutya is a concoction of grains and poppy seeds sweetened with honey, which serves as one of the main dishes of the Christmas feast. Vegetarian-style borsch or solyanka, a salty stew, may also be served along with salads, sauerkraut, dried fruit, potatoes, and beans.

The Christmas day meal may feature a main course of pork, goose, or other meat dish and will be accompanied by a variety of side dishes such as aspic, stuffed pies, and desserts in various forms.

The Russian Santa Claus

The Russian Santa Claus is named Ded Moroz, or Father Frost. Accompanied by Snegurochka, the snow maiden, he brings presents to children to place under the New Year’s tree. He carries a staff, wears valenki , or felt boots, and is carried across Russia in a troika, or a vehicle led by three horses,instead of a sleigh pulled by reindeer.

Russian Christmastide

Svyatki, which is Russian Christmastide, follows the celebration of Christmas and lasts until January 19, the day Epiphany is celebrated. This two-week period is closely associated with pagan traditions of fortune telling and caroling.

Source: TripSavvy

How to impress a Russian mother (or grandmother)

grandmother-old-lady-photographer-kodak-cameraIf you’re dating a Russian person, eventually the moment will come when they want you to meet their parents. It’s important to know that family approval is crucial to many Russian people, and the mother’s approval is especially significant. Luckily, there are certain tactics you can use that will maximize the likelihood that your significant other’s mother (or grandmother – equally important!) will take a liking to you. Here is your preparedness guide to impressing that crucial person:

Learn some Russian

Even if your significant other’s mother speaks English, having made the effort to learn how to communicate in her native language will provide you with massive amounts of bonus points. Learn – really learn, memorise and perfect – the very basics, and do your best to remember a little bit more. Trust me, it will be worth the effort:

Hi – Привет (privet)

Hello – Здравствуйте (zdravstuyte)

Bye – Пока (poka)

Good bye – До свидания (do svidaniya)

Yes – Да (da)

No – Нет (nyet)

Please – Пожалуйста (pozhalusta)

Thank you – Спасибо (spasibo)

You’re welcome – Не за что (ne za chto)

Bring flowers        

As is pretty standard when entering any family home in Russia, it is expected that the visitor will bring flowers for the woman of the house. Luckily, flower stands are everywhere in Russia (many are even open 24 hours a day), so it shouldn’t be difficult to find a place to pick up a small bouquet. It doesn’t need to be extravagant, but it should be nice. Get a shop assistant to put one together for you if you know nothing about flower arrangements.

Be a gentleman       

Follow the standard rules of politeness and add as much extra traditional gentlemanliness as you can handle. This means opening doors, pulling out chairs, waiting to eat until everyone has their food. But it also means always carrying as much of the women’s luggage/shopping bags/everything except their purses as you reasonably can, without them having to ask.

Keep in mind           

Other than being friendly, polite and sociable, the key to impressing a Russian mother or grandmother is basically to pretend you’ve gone back in time 50 years. As silly as it sounds – and as much as many modern Russian women would refuse it to be true – the more you can play to your traditional gender role, the better you will come across.    

Source: TripSavvy

Online dating tips to stand out

woman-working-on-laptop-1

No matter how you slice it, online dating is daunting. With an overwhelming number of digital platforms and an endless stream of prospective partners, how will you ever stand out?

1. Know what you’re looking for.

Before diving into the online dating sea, you should be aware of what type of relationship you’re after. Whether it’s a no-strings-attached rendezvous, casual dating or a serious relationship, pick one and create your profile with that in mind.

2. Put yourself in the shoes of a potential match.

To take your online dating game to the next level, try putting yourself in your prospective partner’s shoes.

3. Show, don’t tell.

The number one mistake guys make is writing about their traits rather than demonstrating their traits. There’s a difference between saying “I’m a really funny guy,” and sharing a hilarious story on your profile. Think about what you want to communicate, and show that instead of flat out saying it. It’s also helpful to ask yourself, “What kind of introduction would I want to keep on reading?”

4. The best type of profile picture may not be what you think.

You may be surprised, but the worst picture you can post if you want women to respond is one of you smiling and looking at the camera. The best performing photos show a guy looking away from the camera, and not smiling.

For optimal results, add a photo of you in a social setting and another showing you doing something interesting. The key for the latter is to spark curiosity and create topics of conversation. Good photos, for instance, will show you backstage with a band or in a remote area less traveled-to.

5. Personalize your greeting.

Ditch the generic “hey, what’s up?” and opt for sending a personalized message. Putting thought into your initial greeting shows you’re interested and that you’ve taken time to read through her profile.

6. Converse as you would in real life — in complete words, in good taste.

When exchanging messages, it’s important to avoid text speak and physical compliments. Poor grammar and incorrect spelling are also a huge turn-off and make an awful first impression. If you want to stand out, get more creative and address their interests over their looks.

7. Don’t play games.

Online dating is a different experience for everyone, but there’s one rule dating specialists encourages you to follow: Don’t play games. No one wins. If you don’t like someone, be mature enough to tell them you aren’t interested. If you’re interested, don’t try to be unavailable or hard to get. If you’re honest and straight up and it doesn’t work, that’s okay — you’re filtering out people who don’t fit what you’re looking for.

Source: Quora